johninchina (johninchina) wrote,
johninchina
johninchina

Exam answers from last semester

 I said I'd post these but never got around to it. Here are some gems from among the approx 320 students who took my end of year test.

1. What is advertising? Give examples.
- “ Harry Potter clothes’s advertising: Harry Potter use magic, then have a clothes, then say the prize or shout: “Harry Potter!”
- “It’s a very scary and strict problem, like earthquake, it will make many people died on this advertising. It’s really very scary!”
- “ I walk on the street, then “Peng!” A big elephant jump to my body, I say “help!” to each other, but no one help me. I crying, water makes me get wet. Finally, I have a cold. That’s advertising.”
- “It’s a kind of place.”
- “You can’t fight with me! I’m strong! I can eat you! I’m Supperman! I can fly and swim! I’m very big! Yeah!” Ironic that the misspelling enhanced the meaning
- “Advertising means you are a thief. Such as, you don’t give any money but you put something in your bad, in a supermarket.”
- “For example, you have a baby. You’re going to Beijing. You should make a advertising to look after you baby.”
- “For example. In 2008, April 12th Sichuan had a very big advertising. Many people died.”
- “It make people cry when advertising come.”
- “Bob’s numerboge can help you be stronger and healthier.”
- “Yao Ming’s son is very short. Only 120cm.”
- “Shit! Funk! I don’t know. God.”
- “Advertising is boring. It’s after interesting TV show. I look the most interesting but this time advertising is coming. So I’m waiting for TV show a long time.”
- “Cock give you energy, make you strong.”

2. Introduce a place, thing or person of Chinese culture.
- “Black hair, black eyes and yellow skin; that’s a Chinese doctor”
- “In China, we have many fastable. Like moon fastable.”
- “Tom, the great Chinese student. This is his house. He has a great house! Tom, the best boy!” (Can you guess this kid’s name?)
- “There are many stories about West Lake, like the story between the snack and the man.” (I see they have been following me around Hangzhou)
- “In the northern of Mars, so many people lve there. There are many house and street. It’s also haves police office, hospital, post office. And has a Rocketport, you can take rocket to earth.”
- “Jake Chan. A success Chinese actor. He is the most popular in China. Many people like him. But not for me. I think he was terrible He always make the worst movie.”
- “Mao Zedong…He looks like a kind grandpa.”

3. Name one of the seven deadly sins, and describe it.
- “(about gluttony) it is like food is God in his eyes”
- “ Slowly. It means somebody do something is too slow”
- “Lust. It is a very bad thing between a woman and man. But they are not husband and wife. These two people stay together without other’s agreement and then sex. Or maybe a man sex with a woman without the woman’s agreement and hurt the woman’s heart.”
- “1. Scarf” (Finished there)
- “Math.”
- “Lust. Lust like a kind of love that not very clean. But it’s always in everyone’s heart.”
- “Billy: it’s a very bad thing in your mind. It’s very very dirty.”
- “Example: Your classmate has an iPhone 4. It’s funky!”
- “First, fight woman, then play her.”
- “I have a gun. I go to band, kill lot of person, then put lot of money to my pocket.”
- “I will talk about the Earth. Now we all living in the earth. There is many lifes in the earth like animals, plants and so on.”
- “Zimbers, if you get them beat, you are going to be a zimber. They has T-Virors. If you want kill them, short their hand or nachs is the good way.”
- “In China have so many person have the seven deadly. I know only one. He’s name is Shui Bian Chen” (Shui Bian Chen is the president of Taiwan)
- “Make some things yourself but it looks like company made”
- “Lust. It means girls and boys do something very bad on their beds.”

4. Describe some things you should and shouldn’t do at the table in western countries.
- “I shouldn’t talk. I shouldn’t take pictures. I shouldn’t lie down.”
- “Don’t speak English”
- “If you will eat with madam, you should help she move her chair.”
- “Eat food.”
- “You can’t farts in the table.”
- “You should say: “Net’s to meet you” You can mannerly. You shouldn’t cast funk in the street or park.”
- “One to the things we shouldn’t do is asking western ladies age. They don’t want to tell us about their age and may be they’ll feel very angry about this question.”
- “We should upside down when we’re very happy.”

5. What items would you bring with you on a desert island?
- “I’m bring a knife. Then kill myself.”
- “I should bring a pig. Because I want to ride pig.”
- “I would bring a pet, because he listen to my secrets. I would bring a rope, so I can swim in the sea.”
- “In our countries I should keep a laugh. Because I want to be happy. And I shouldn’t buy some things but don’t give money.”
- “Fire. Knife. Water. My father my mother my grandpa my grandma my uncle my aunt my sister my brother my cousin my classmate my teacher my friend my friend’s mother my friend’s father…”
- “A mirror because I want to stay beautiful every minute.”

6. What is emphasis? How can you emphasize a sentence? Give examples.
- “Hu Jingtao meets Obama at the park, they are full in love.”
- “Emphasis is making something not very true. It’s not good. Example: I am a princess from the UK.”
- “A girl died in a street. The girl was poor. She had no food to eat. Her parents were bad. They didn’t give food to girl. And they asked girl to sell things, Poor girl! She felt hungry. But if she go back to home, her parents will beat her. At last, the girl died in the street.”
- (he underlined “emphasis”) “What’s this in Chinese? I don’t know, so I can’t write anything. I’m very very very (10 billion very) sorry.”
- I think emphasis means “funny exciting”. Sentence: The dog can speak language.”
- “Simon isn’t a smart student.” (Simon had just received -10 for speaking after the test began; no idea why she wrote this though)
- “The woman who stand under the tree is my aunt.”
- “Miss Wu and Mr. Liu were had a baby.”
- “It’s new and it’s special, and give people a big surprise. The watch is expensive because it’s from italy and a queen used it 500 years ago. It’s a old thing and it’s presious.”
- “I’m too silly to know “emphasis” mean! Because Jesus is a good person, I don’t know.”

7. Name some types of movies, and describe them.
- “Great Chinese movie: Fight in the plane. Get everybody up. The movie is so exciting, but it also has a little blood. The movie is just too quiet, it never says any sentences. The movie is a boring movie! It never have story! Nobody like it!”
- “Fantasy: Something not real. It’s from somebody’s strange ideas.”
- “Sriller: It’s scary and maybe have gohst. Romens: Some people love some people, and it’s romantic.”
- “Bolt is the wonderful movies. It’s have the good actres and have good animal. It’s very beasuatial.”
- “Action movies. You can see many bad gays, policemen and hores in the movies, they will beat or kill some one, and finish some work, action movies is exciting.”
- “《Big Player》It is the most boring movie I’ve ever seen…I think it’s boring because it just funny.”


8. What is the benefit of learning English? Why is it important for Chinese students to learn good spoken English?
- “English is very popular all over the world, it’s like a key to open every countries door”
- “Western cultures just like a beautiful cloth. How can I wear it? The beginning is English.”
- “If I can’t speak English very well, when I grow up, I will look like a pig.”
- “We shouldn’t just speak Chinese in our long lives.”
- “A language is not just a language.”
- “Do you know Zhong Yong Fang? His IQ is more than the other people, but he didn’t work hard. So he didn’t spoken Chinese very well. Just a boy. Do you know Justin Bieber. He is a boy too.”

Also, all 8 answers from a student named Pat:
1. What does it mean?
2. God! I see you!
3. Oh! My god! It’s difficult.
4. Sorry, I don’t know.
5. I don’t know.
6. No, I can’t.
7. 《 Hong Fu Panda 》This movie is the bets movies! Why? I don’t kown.
8. I don’t like English. But my friend like English. Why Pat doesn’t like English? Because I am a Chinese peopal.

Also, found a picture of me playing Charades with another teacher last semester:



I'm giving another test this afternoon. More answers likely to come!

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  • Opinions from Summer Camp - II

    First lesson I taught the kids. I've done this opening lesson, or some variation of it, about 20 times now. Some of the girls from one of…

  • Opinions from Summer Camp

    We have started Summer Camp now. As part of the students' daily homework, they have to write a diary, selections of which are published on the school…

  • End of Semester Exams

    Continuing the tradition from last semester, here are some more amusing or interesting answers from the students. Responding to comments from last…